Oh boy, Cyclone is another truly terrible film. You know it's awful when Heather Thomas turns in one of film's best performances. I found myself longing for Heather to return to the screen so we could get back to some better acting.
So what is it about? A special motorcycle that has a transformer that converts hydrogen into power. Also, the motorcycle has rockets and other weapons attached to it for some reason. Oh, and the motorcycle helmet has the ability to destroy telephone books. Very cool.
The motorcycle is the special project of Heather's boyfriend. But when she takes him to a punk club - and really, is that a punk club? With white polished floors? Heather has a line of dialogue about them needing to get there early because they made reservations, and this band "really packs them in." Reservations at a punk club? And the band is awful. And as far as packing them in, there are maybe twenty extras -- but anyway, when she takes him to the punk club, he's killed. So it's up to her to use the motorcycle. And she can't trust anyone.
So what's good about it? Well, Heather Thomas is in it. I had two posters of her on my bedroom walls when i was a teenager, and it's still fun to look at her. Though the costume designer put her into some terrible clothes. Martin Landau is in it too, but i just felt embarrassed for him (though this movie is bloody Oscar material compared to B.A.P.s, another film he agreed to appear in for some reason).
And the movie has the line, "I love it when you fuck up Einstein." This is during some strange nerd love ritual.
The rest is garbage, but it's fun garbage. The tone is all over the place. Sometimes it tries to be an over-the-top comedy, like all the scenes with the two bumbling detectives who are staked outside Heather's house, but who fall asleep (when they are woken, one says, "What was that?" and the other replies, "Loud noise"). Other times it tries to be an intense action film. It fails at both, but whatever.