Monday, September 6, 2010

13 Seconds

This is another truly terrible film. The plot, as far as i can tell, is a band called Night Gallery goes to an old silent movie theatre to record an album. But instead of doing any recording, or even rehearsing, the band members, the sound guys, and their girlfriends wander around in the dark and do drugs and say stupid things that the writer makes them say. And then maybe there are ghosts or something. Something strange in an art gallery. Why is there an art gallery? They also mention something about students taking classes there. At the silent movie theatre? Or did the writer forget that he had a character say it was a silent movie theatre? Who knows? There's a library too.

This film has the worst dialogue. Here's a scene for you:

Moron #1 walks downstairs, where Moron #2 is standing in the dark.
MORON #2: "What's up?"
MORON #1: "Not much. Hey, what's going on?"
MORON #2: "Wish I knew."

Cut to shot of full moon.

Here is some more from a little later:

MORON #1: "Hey, have I ever told you about this re-occurring dream I have? Now that scares the hell out of me." (Yes, he says "re-occurring," not "recurring.")
MORON #2: "You've had this more than once?"
MORON #1: "This is serious. This is something I can't outgrow."

Okay, one last bit of dialogue:
KARA: (sadly) "Colin, how many times have the rules been reversed?"
COLIN: "That's not important. What's important for me is going back to my room and getting drunk."
KARA: "You ever do something for so long you forget why you do it?"
End of scene.

This movie has some creepy imagery, but it doesn't matter. Not one of the characters is the least bit interesting or compelling, and no one in the film has even the smallest amount of acting ability. It also seems like all the dialogue was recorded later, and the actors were just reading from the script.
Also, we don't know where anybody is. We have no idea of the layout of the place - especially as there is almost no lighting. So no scene seems connected to any other. No character seems connected to any other. No room seems connected to any other. So while there is some slightly amusing gore, the shots that should be scary are not, because they don't seem connected to anything.
This film is a complete mess. It tries to add an explanation at the end, but by the end i had checked out completely, and didn't care. And if i had cared, i probably would have been really annoyed, because the explanation is one of those that sort of negates everything that's happened anyway. I don't recommend this one to anyone at all.

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