Sunday, October 4, 2015

Hide (2011)

What can I say about this one? It’s a complete mess. A few girls get harassed by someone using the voice from Scream (admittedly – they make several references to Scream). They guess it’s their friend Ryan, and then guess it’s their friend Scooter. And for a long time, the movie cuts to some hand-held footage of doorknobs and things, and it goes on and on. This footage is never explained, but is dropped with like twenty minutes to go. There is also some news footage that doesn’t feel the least bit real. At the bottom of the screen it says, “Breaking Story,” but the footage is of nothing whatsoever. And why didn’t the hair person fix the reporter’s hair? It’s a mess. Maybe there wasn’t a hair person on this film. I don’t know. The biggest problem, however, is the sound design. There are basically two big musical cues, and they are used repeatedly throughout the film (one is a piano cue that tries to be like Halloween). Even worse is the Foley. Yes, that’s right. I don’t think I’ve ever complained about Foley in a film before. For those who don’t know, Foley is manually produced sound effects, like doors slamming, footsteps, and so on. For this movie, only three footsteps were recorded – two loud steps, followed by a soft step, like the person stopping. And you hear those three steps throughout the film. Seriously. Once you notice it, it’s impossible to ignore. Plus, the footsteps are those of a heavy shoe, but what we see is a Converse All Stars-type shoe, which just wouldn’t make that sound. Also, there are popping sounds throughout the film, which are really irritating. And then at one point, a line is completely lost. It’s just not there. The woman says a line, and we see her mouth moving, but we hear nothing, and then the sound comes back in for the response to that line. It’s so fucking ridiculous that that wouldn’t be fixed. The filmmakers are completely incompetent. And the end is just fucking stupid. So what’s good about it? Well, the lead actor is really pretty. And there are some humorous moments early on, when they’re playing around with the Scream gag. But unless you love watching girls talk on the phone, cut with jumpy footage of doorknobs, it’s probably best to skip this one.

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