The car is a new model that is supposed to be not only the safest car ever designed, but the safest place for a mother and her child to be. We are told that explicitly at the beginning (in a nice cameo by Jay Hayden as Roy Lacombe, CEO of the auto company). The car, which calls itself Lilith, knows that there is a baby in the backseat based on the weight. And it has all sorts of safety features. But really, as it turns out, it is indestructible and, like a cat, always lands on its feet. But more on that in a bit. While driving this car, Sandra hands her cell phone to her toddler to keep him occupied. Because of course the best thing for a child is looking at a small screen. How many studies are there showing how exposure to screens at such a young age hinders brain development? But, again, she's as stupid as they come. Also, she smokes a cigarette in the car. Anyone under the age of forty who smokes is a total moron, but to smoke in a car with your toddler takes a special kind of asshole. Sandra is just that kind. She also keeps turning around to talk to her child, because in addition to being a shitty mother, she is a shitty driver. And so, while turned around to face her child, she hits a deer. By the way, she is on some strange side road because Lilith had alerted her that there was traffic ahead, and Sandra was in too much of a hurry to catch her husband in bed with another woman to sit in traffic (she might be forgetting that even on the highway, it's three hundred twenty miles to L.A., so the chances of him still being bed with this chick when she arrives are pretty slim). This is a road that apparently no one else ever uses, because over the course of the movie not one other car passes in either direction.
She gets out of the car, and the deer looks up at her as if to say, "You stupid fucking little bitch." Two more examples of how terrible Sandra is before we continue: She momentarily loses her child at a convenience store and later gives him a bag of marbles to chew. Okay, back to the deer. While she is looking at the deer, her child, playing with her phone, manages to lock the car (because all the car's functions can be accessed through the phone, making it not very safe at all, but whatever). The kid inadvertently sets the car in super vault mode. Think of the car as Panic Room with wheels (though Panic Room is a much better movie). So Sandra can't get back in. She starts banging on the car, but that doesn't work. Eventually, she decides to walk back to the one building she passed on this little road, some sort of industrial place, which conveniently is unlocked. But when she picks up the phone, she finds that it is apparently designed to only call the office, which is closed until Tuesday. She grabs a flashlight and a giant wrench and then leaves, not bothering to explore any other room of the place for an actual phone that can dial out. Or for water or food. Because, you know, she's an idiot. The wrench does no damage to the car, and she can't even manage to use it to hit the hungry dog that has followed her back.
Anway, morning comes and, it being the desert, the temperature starts to rise. Oh, did I mention that her son is dressed in a bear costume? So, you know, he's going to be very hot in it in there. She remembers passing a sign that said "Airport One," and so sets off on the road again. She first takes off her little black sweater and drapes it over the sunroof so that the sunlight won't directly hit her child. But, being a moron, she doesn't weigh it down with a few rocks or anything, so when she gets back from the abandoned airport (complete with an abandoned passenger jet) it has blown off the car and is at the side of the road. While she was putting the sweater on the car, by the way, the wind was blowing her hair, but that didn't make her think that the wind might also blow her flimsy sweater off the top of the car. Because, again, she is a dolt. The car is a bit smarter than she is, and when the temperature outside reaches 107 degrees, the car turns on a fan. But, really, by now the kid would be dead. Anyway, the woman thinks of one last method to possibly get inside the car. She decides to push it off the cliff. Yes, with her child inside. This is when the movie becomes hilarious. She manages to push her car off the cliff, and it flips over and then is in a free fall to the ground below. Somehow this works, and the doors unlock, I guess in order to give the toddler a chance to jump out mid-fall. But he's locked in a child car seat anyway. I should add that Sandra is completely unaware of the details of the car's features. It is her husband's car, and this is her first time driving it. She is even surprised when it talks to her. So she is just totally guessing that pushing it off the cliff might help. Well, the car lands, and a giant dust cloud rises from the impact. And Sandra works her way down there. And guess what? The car has landed upright, and she's able to not only open the door and get her son, but also to drive it away. The car is fine. And it gets even sillier. She is able to drive the car up a near-vertical incline back to the road.
You know, forget the idea of this car being safe from criminals. It is the perfect vehicle for criminals. What better getaway vehicle is there? The cops couldn't possibly get you. You could drive it off a fucking cliff if you had to. Think the cops are going to follow? Nope, not even cops are that stupid.
So what's good about this movie? Well, the kid is adorable. While any viewer would be perfectly okay with the mother dying in the desert, no one wants any harm to come to the kid. Of course, staying in that mother's custody is no guarantee that he'll make it to even his teen years. So we hope that once he gets out of the hospital, the courts give the child to the father, who is an asshole but doesn't seem like a moron.
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