Thursday, October 6, 2011

Decadent Evil (2005)

Decadent Evil begins with a voice over and several quick scenes of a hot pianist being turned into a vampire. It makes the movie feel like a sequel to some other film. It seems like the voice over should be saying, "Previously, on Decadent Evil..." Now the pianist is moving to the United States to start her own clan. It sounds like a spin-off. Right?

Anyway, we then have a long terrible scene in a strip club. Some lame guy named Bruce is taking his girlfriend there, though she's not into it. But after all, he did buy her dinner, so what's her problem? One of the strippers gives the girl a free lap dance and then invites the couple back to her house. Or castle. And they go. The girl, whose name is Tami, is still whining that she's not into it. But whatever, she followed a stripper to a castle and is in her bedroom. At this point she should just shut the fuck up. Bruce thinks he's getting a threesome, but what he gets is death. Because the stripper is a vampire.

Decadent Evil would be typical softcore vampire nonsense were it not for Marvin and Ivan. Marvin is this little demonic-looking puppet in a cage. Ivan is a midget vampire-hunter who acts like a film noir detective. He's played by Phil Fondacaro, who is by far the best actor of the film. And he has all of the good lines. Well, all but one. A tied up prostitute has a great line when Marvin climbs into bed with her. She says, "What are you - some little fucked up monkey?" She's curious, but not alarmed. Clearly, this whore has been around.

The two stripper vampires are named Sugar and Spyce. (Yes, "Spyce with a Y," she says.) Sugar is played by Jill Michelle, who is the worst actor of the group. Watch and laugh especially when she tries to keep the main vampire from killing her boyfriend. She just sort of waves her arms above her head for a moment. I watched that bit twice. And laughed both times.

There is a Shakespeare reference in this film. Ivan tells the boyfriend, "I hate to break it to you, Romeo. I think your little Juliet's a vampire."

During the end credits, there is a trailer for the sequel, Decadent Evil II. I've never seen someone put a trailer in the closing credits before. Very tacky. By the way, those closing credits were the slowest-moving credits I've ever seen. The movie was so short that clearly the filmmakers decided to draw out the credit sequence just to add a bit of time.

This movie is included in a two-disc collection titled The Midnight Horror Collection. Eight movies for five dollars at Ralph's. Not bad.

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